Save a Horse, Ride Stephen Harper.

Is that Mantracker? No it's just Stephen Harper, still good though.


Due to the Conservative Parties notoriously low support from Canadian women, Stephen Harper has created this personal ad in order to attract more votes. So here he is ladies, your Prime Minister!!


Stephen Harper is a staunch supporter of women's rights and has fought hard to make sure Status of Women Canada received 8 million dollars in federal funding! Ignoring, of course, the fact that this is approximately a 40% cut in their funding from previous administrations. This though, is just teaching women to be more independent, which is what they're always asking for. Stephen Harper supports strong, independent women. This is why he recently added far more female members to his cabinet. Stephen Harper loves strong, independent women who are forced to stay silent and remain behind him due to cabinet solidarity and secrecy. (He particularly enjoys them behind them).


And ladies, a date with Stephen Harper is a date in heaven. He won't take you to some boring, pretentious play or art exhibit. He knows you won't enjoy that because you're just an ordinary Canadian and as he says “ordinary Canadians don't like the arts.” In fact, Steve knows you so well he cut 45 million dollars from the arts (money, if you're lucky, he'll spend on you). Instead, Steve will probably take you somewhere fun and exciting like a barren, earth, uninhabited by man or beast, desolate and smelling like methane. Stephen Harper knows you hate nature which is why he has taken no firm stance on protecting the environment and is ignoring the Kyoto protocol. (He believes your eyes shimmer like bubbling pools of liquid glaciers).


Ladies, don't forget that if you're looking for a family man no one is more committed to traditional strong family values then Stephen Harper. He has fought hard in the past to make sure poofters, fairies, trannies, and anyone on the fence cannot ruin the sanctity of marriage by bringing in their “queer”values. This has not worked, but still, he gave it all hell of a shot. He still believes in marriage though and as he's from the west is comfortable with another wife. He loves children but realizes that they'll probably cut down on the love-making sessions which is why Stephen Harper supports amendments to the Youth Criminal Justice Act. Amendments which would see children as young as 14 able to go to jail for life. No need to wait for them to move out now! As soon as they hit that angsty age you can just ship them off to jail.


Finally ladies, let's never forget that no one looks more awkward then Stephen Harper in a sweater vest. It's hard to even see a picture of him in one without one's heart a-fluttering.





And He Loves Kittens!!!!

Andy Wells, the worst person ever?

I loathe few political figures. I try not to hate them as I generally understand how hard it must be for a public figure and well they entertain me and I enjoy that. However there is one political figure I despise, his name is Andy Wells.

Andy Wells is the mayor of St. Johns and for those of us not on the up and up a man recently given the position of Head of the Public Utilities Board (a worthy choice as Pubs are something he probably knows much about) For those of us who have never seen The “honorable” Mr. Wells I'll give try to give an accurate description of him. He looks like Old Man Winter. Wait no, Old Man Winter with a constant hangover. Yeah picture Old Man Winter after a night on the binge and you'll have a fair idea of Wells natural demeanor.

It's not his appearance I hate, I'm not that superficial. I try to look for the inner goodness in my politicians, hell have you ever seen Jack Layton's mustache? No it's the fact that like most politicians he lies. Now I'm not trying to be cynical here but I think that we can accept it as a fact that politicians have been known to bend the truth, break it even, if it means the bigger piece will be on their side. Most politicians however have the brains to at least pretend like they're not lying. They try and make us believe that what they say is the truth and you know if we persist enough eventually we might even get an apology out of these “absent-minded” fellows. It'll be more of a shifting of the the blame but hell from them that may as well be flowers and make up sex!

Andy Wells however has the audacity to not only lie to us but then to make fun of us for ever believing him. Classy Andy, really classy.

Recently after being appointed Head of the P.U.B. he presented the city with a decision to make. He could either stay on as acting mayor and work as the head of the P.U.B. (both jobs he has described as full-time jobs and even got a raise in salary due to his workload as mayor), or door number two, he would resign and thus force an election to take place. Now in a cost efficient analysis it would appear that Andy as mayor would have to suffice seeing as the election would cost the city about $400,000 in taxpayers money. However, and rightly so, many people made the point that he could not possibly perform both jobs well at the same time. Therefore he placed the decision in the city's hands. Write, e-mail, fax, stalk, do whatever it takes to get the message to Andy as to what he should do. What a stand-up guy, letting the city decide its own affairs. Right? Wrong. Andy didn't think public forum had a place in democracy.

He stated recently saying that despite huge amounts of e-mails stating differing opinions he was going to stay in office and work at both jobs. He was quoted as saying “anyone who makes online petitions urging the mayor to resign are fooling themselves, and are fools to boot.” I feel like I did when I found out Santa didn't exist.

He even reverted to the age old political trick of name calling. When describing the people who e-mailed him asking for his resignation he described them as “NDP malcontents and environmental discontents”. That cuts deep. I hope a tree falls on you and you die Andy.

At this point Andy Wells just reminds me of a school bully. The kind who would take your money in the morning, promise to give it back if you didn't tell the teacher and then at the end of the day push you in the mud and take whatever you had leftover for lunch anyway. Only this time it's not our lunch, it's the taxpayers money.

Liberal MP being Hailed as Poster Boy by White Supremacists

Mein Kampf: By Keith Martin


This was a headline in a recent article on CBC.ca. Keith Martin (who is white and Indian), liberal MP for Victoria was getting praise from White Supremacist website stormfront.com (not to be confused with stemfront.com where you can order the an amazing variety of poinsettias for very low prices) after he raised a private member's bill on the abolishment of Section 13 of the Canadian Human Rights Act. The section condemns electronic communication of anything deemed likely to expose a person to hatred or contempt.
This bill has been at the centre of controversy now for quite some time as Right Wing groups seem to feel that it gags free speech, rips out the vocal cords and is such a shot in the nuts to democracy. Why Paul Fromm (who?) declared on his website after hearing that a bill was in motion towards the repeal of the bill "The sordid Soviet-style reign of terror by the Canadian Human Rights Commission is now out in the open". I couldn't agree more Frommy. Hey that too would be my manifesto if I ever was to declare one. I can really get the similarities between an autocratic government hell bent of enforcing its version of justice and Section 13 attempting to stop ignorant people from spawning more of themselves (they go at it like rabbits I hear. Probably afraid to go outside). Well I guess we'll just have to deal with the consequences of having nothing to enforce anti-hate messages. By the way Frommy, isn't 'Fromm' of Jewish descent?
I must admit though I too think the bill is stupid. After all this blog could very well be under question if we go by the description above. I feel that the bill should be amended. It should be rephrased to make note that all its trying to ban is hate propaganda towards minorities. Except that is for gays, cause if they were included then the Conservatives would have been jailed by now and "Queer Eye" would probably be renovating 24 Sussex Drive at the moment.
I feel it necessary however to raise the question of why it's taken this long for people to question the Liberal Party's stance on human rights. I've been screaming for years that the Liberal Party are just a bunch of neo-nazis. Especially Stephane Dion, beneath his meekish demanour is a man just waiting for the rest of the world to come to grips with the fact that The Holocaust didn't happen. I hear he's also a skinhead. (Sorry Stephane, the wig's not fooling anybody).
Ah but alas more controversy still. Mr. Martin was once a member of the Tories before crossing over to the Liberal Party! My word when is Martin's evil twin going to pop up and his dead mistress make her triumphant return. It seems that all the parties then have connections with white supremacists. Wait a minute except for, wait for it....good ol' NDP! Yep Jackie Boy there never once said a racists thing to anybody, though mostly due to the NDP's lack of being able to get a word in during Parliament but I trust he wouldn't have hurt anyone's feelings even if given the chance. Well I guess we all know what this means. Nothing absolutely nothing. The Liberals and Tories could come out as terrorist factions hellbent on destruction of liberty and declaring a Jihad on Canada and I doubt the Mr. Layton would even get to be Leader of the Opposition.
Sigh......someday, someday.

Kevin Little: The Vigilante Hero

Kevin Little, Protector of the Free World

On CBC recently they reported that a man, a Mr. Kevin Little, apparently saw Premier Danny Williams driving while talking on his cell phone.

My big question is how slow of a news week was it that our Premier's usage of a cell phone while driving made national news? I'm sorry but didn't the Manley Report just come out raising arguments about how long Canada will stay in Afgahnistan? You guys at CBC are probably right, who wants to know the fate of our troops at war?

Poor Kev though he must of been so angry when he saw our Premier endangering the lifes of all those around. Lucky for us however good ol' Kev wasn't a guy take this one lying down. You know what Kev did? According to Kev he “slowed right down and I looked right at him, stared right at him, and yes, sure enough, it was the premier”. We're following the Premier now right? The right honorable one? The one right here? Right? Right. Then Kev, bold as he is, rolled down his window and called out to Williams “Do you know that's illegal?”.

Good job Kev, real god job. You stopped Premier Williams from endangering anyone's life by slowing down on the highway, rolling down your window, sticking your big head out (becasue of your large brain) and yelling at the car to the side of you. Bravo Kev you're a godsend I feel safer already.

Williams apparently bushed Kevin off with a shrug. You know why he brushed Kevin off with a shrug? Two reasons. One, the fine for driving while talking on a cell pone is $100 dollars and our Premier is worth hundreds of millions of dollars. If I had that kind of money I'd go streaking just for the fine. Hell he can pay off the families of anyone he kills. My life is not worth near a million.

Secondly he owns 71% of all the seats in the House of Assembly. With that many seats he can afford to be hypocrite and anything else he'd like to be. You all gave him that power when you voted for him, and everyone else in his party. At this point he could make a law stating that everyone has to either call him “Il Duce” or shoot an apple of their son's head and the opposition wouldn't get so much as a cough in.

Listen Kev go home call everyone you know on your cell phone, let them know how bad of a Premier Danny is and learn to pick your battles. And while you're at it how to drive you nut.

Stabbing through the heart is fatal?

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. You only got stabbed in the heart."

“Wait, you're telling me that stabbing someone three times in the heart kills them? No kidding!”

This was roughly the defense of a 16 year old boy in Regina, Sask. The boy stabbed another teenager after the teenager stepped in to try and stop the accused's friend from stealing a bag of sunflower seeds on Boxing Day, 2006.

Wow and I thought poverty was bad in Newfoundland.

The boy while on the stand testifying said in court “I didn't think it would kill him”. When has stabbing a man 3 times in the heart not killed them? Either this kid is lying through his teeth or our educational system is severly failing us. I thought it was instinctual to know that if you stab someone in their heart they die. I can never remember a point in my life where I did not know that. And over sunflower seeds.
The worst part of this story for me though was the fact that he was convicted of second-degree murder and not first. The difference between the two is that with second the death stems from assualt without then intention to kill and carries onlya maximum of 7 years jail time for a youth. For example if I shot someone in the arm and they died of blood loss then I would probably be found guilty of second degree murder. How could you not have the intention to kill when you stab someone in the heart? Isn't that the most obvious way to kill someone. “Oh I get over here I murder you, ah, I stab ya in the heart.” Noone thinks “Oh I'll just maim him with a friendly stab to the heart, he'll be fine.” Noone is fine after their heart, the key organ that pumps blood to all other organs, which you need to live, is torn apart. It's not your goddamn appendix, you can't just say “frig it I don't even use that.”

And it took the jury two hours to reach a verdict. Two HOURS! It should've taken them to minutes to figure that one out. “Wait he what! Through the heart! How many times!!? Well maybe there's more to it, let's hear his testimony. What? Did he just say he didn't think it would kill him. Oh god we have to lock him up for the sake of the grade curve.”

Also Boxing Day? Didn't have a chance on Christmas? Too busy not opening up packets of sunflower seeds in your stocking. All those Boxing Day sales and you just had to go rob some sunflower seeds. Merry Christmas I just stabbed you through the heart.

Come on Canadian Legal system, you have to try these cases faster, and harder. Noone should ever be allowed to use “ I didn't know that would kill them” as a defence and get a reduced sentence. This man stole the Good Samaritians life and all he loses is 7 years and a few points off his IQ? That's just not justice.

Political Insight?

I've come to notice something about the three main political party leaders:

Stephen Harper always has an incredibly arrogant smirk on his face. It's looks as if he thinks he's smarter than everyone and is just trying to pacify us until we shut up. Or maybe he just has a pedosmile and I'm looking into this too much.































Jack Layton in sharp contrast always has a determined and cool under pressure look to him. Which probably means he's not that intelligent because he's not worried that NDP will never be anything more than that older kid at the adult table during the holidays that the parents try to mollify by giving them extra dessert.
























Finally we have Stephane "who's dat?" Dion. He just always looks really confused. Which in all fairness he probably is.